New Blog

I now have a new blog and write in it much more often. If you'd like the link, feel free to leave me a message and I'll get it to you.

Cowardly Lions

So Sad

Alright Already!!!

I have not written on here in so so long... I can barely claim to have a blog. I'm feeling inspired to write a little simply because I feel great. I have been working hard lately to get in shape, be healthy and to be in a good state of mind. All of these things have been coming together. I work out at the gym a few days a week and it's been making a huge difference in my mind set. Even if I'm not seeing a crazy difference in my physique, at least I'm not so ready to kill someone as I typically would be. Who knew that simple visit to the gym would ward off my homicidal tendencies?!?

I almost forgot to mention that I went to Colorado recently. This is the view out of my hotel room door. Nothing super fancy or anything. It was just wonderful to have something to look at other than metal and steel when I got up in the morning. The altitude was a bit rough on my asthmatic lungs but other than that I had a wonderfully relaxing trip. I also made a mad dash to Rhode Island last weekend for a short little visit with my man while he was on the road. What a treat to see him after 6 long weeks. We had a tremendous time. Each time I reunite with him I realize just why I love him so much. No one has the ability to make me smile and laugh the way he does. He brings a light to my life that was not there before and I adore him for being such an amazing guy. Ok, ok... enough gushing.

Damnit!!

My god I'm getting crows feet already!!!

Million Dollar Baby

So I'm sitting in my car on 8th Avenue... I just noticed that I may be physically inable to start a passage without using the word "So"... hmph.



As I was saying, before my psyche so rudely interrupted...



Last night I'm sitting in my car on 8th avenue between 30th and 31st street, the block before MSG/Penn Station and the big Post office. I'm parked in front of a bar, liquor store, sex shop and a pizza shop, sequetially. Now my car isn't new by any means, but not the worst of the bunch either. It's a little 95 VW Jetta, complete with crank windows, stick shift, and floor mats. One of the only redeeming qualities is the sun roof, which I use constantly. Last night was a nice night, so I have my roof open, and the front windows down about a 1/3 of the way, when suddenly this greasy european dude in a pair of khaki's and a button down, reaches his hand into my window toward me. Meanwhile, I am on the phone totally unsuspecting of this and look over to see this hand reaching toward me and I pretty much bug the fuck out. With my Golden Glove instincts intact I grab onto greasy eurodudes hand and dont let go as I punch away at it as hard and fast as I can. (I know I definitely broke at least a bone or two of his.) All the while he's screaming 'ok! ok!' until he eventually breaks free and dives into traffic and into a cab to get away from the impending doom of fuckin with the Million Dollar Baby... Chuck Norris would be proud.

My knuckles are now swollen and my fingers look like sausages. Ouch.

I can't write.

So I had a real long, hard, much needed cry the other night. Wrote an entire post and cried through the entire thing. And then realized that I'm not as open to be so vulnerable as I thought I was. I can't just put everything out there as easily as I thought. I don't want everyone to know everything. I don't know if I want to face it all myself half of the time. So I bottle that stuff back up and put it up on a shelf to deal with at another time. I keep going back to hearing Jill Scott in one of her songs saying 'every thing ain for everybody...'

What I will share though is the fact that I'm HUNGRY. And when I say HUNGRY, I mean HUNGRY. I tried to switch up my breakfast routine from one of my usual staples and I'm paying dearly for it today. It's 11:3o and I'm ready to gnaw on my own arm at this point.

Ho-hum

Anybody got an Iron pill?

I'm not sure how, but for a moment when I started typing this blog, it was being converted into Hindi... strange...

I think I'm going to impose a bedtime for myself soon. Recently, many people have pointed out how tired I look. I've also noticed how tired I feel, which validates what I have been in denial about for ages. I definitely do NOT get enough sleep. I feel like the walking dead most days. Even as I type this, I am sitting at my desk, eyes closed, allowing Zen to guide my fingers to the proper keys. I think that the old saying of there 'not being enough hours in the day' rings especially true for me. I am forever on the go. I think that I just might do more in one day than most do in a week. Now that I have a car, I am extraordinarily efficient. (yeah yeah, I know you're probably tired of hearing about my car by now...) Now that I have a car, I can leap buildings in a halfa single bound, no problem. Somethings gotta give soon though or I'm gonna fall out on the street one day of sheer exhaustion. The boyfriend has been suggesting a day at the spa for a while, but I don't know if that's going to cut it. I may need more than that. I've also got to evaluate if I'm getting enough nutrition in my diet. Since I went back to being a veg, I noticed that I'm a bit more lethargic. Somebody get me some greens and quick! Ha! I just got a picture in my head of this pregnant woman my friend Sharyn and I spotted a few weeks back. She was walking down the street devouring a whole head of lettuce as though it were an apple that was begging to be eaten. Haahhaha, on another delirious tangent... I was in front of the hospital (at work) the other day, and I got to witness two blind people, one with a guide dog and the other with a cane, collide giving them both a jolt! I know it's not SUPPOSED to be funny, but I found it effin hilarious and would be money that the average person will never in their life get to experience that scene. HAHAHA. My delirium is taking over. Time to sign out for now... Funny it's only 11:53 am and I'm so sleepy I can' barely see straight.